Hey Mama,
I'm hittin' good
Like hell, you ain't been doin' so hot,
I heard about you
Your thang been just as ragged
as a bowl of sauerkraut
And that new woman you
got done lost her jaw
She on welfare,
you ain't hittin' your hustle no more
Why don't you be honest
and tell me like it really is
But that's alright, I know anyhow
You left me for your new love
Now, if she's been
all you expected,
tell me why when I call you last night,
I found your phone disconnected.
Now, now, is she finding out
it all ain't peaches and cream?
I found out early in life,
you can move the man from his household,
But you won't remove the
memory of his wife
You see the girl was in love with love
Instead of being in love with you
It wasn't fair,
you should have told her
About all the changes
you'd put her through
Now did you tell her about the London
and funky drawers?
Did you tell her that you're
snowing your sleeve?
Did you tell her how well
you like my cooking?
How many ridiculous foods
you refuse to eat
I know you didn't tell her
about our letter -makin'
Or you'd have to tell her that
she can't compete
Oh, she'd have to be
twice the woman I am
And still the girl couldn't win
Cause I was a wife and a half
An d that's three times any girlfriend
Is she finding out it all ain't
peaches and cream?
She'll have to compete with me
The rest of her life
Cause the job I did was a job well done
And she won't remove
the memory of this one
No! You can move the wife,
but the memory lingers on,
and you can't really win.
You can have him bodily,
but unless you got his mind,
you haven't accomplished
too much anyway.
The first reason I say you can't win
is, suppose his wife is no good,
I mean, really took the man
through a bunch of changes.
Then he's gonna think you're
the same way
because he's adjusted to the idea
and would like to think
that all women are alike.
Now if she was one of those terrific wives
and he was the one responsible
then you got to deal with
a double problem.
The guilt feelings and the fact that he's
going to compare your every move with hers.
My wife didn't cook like that.
And if you accidentally do some
of them good things she did,
you're really in trouble.
Cause you see,
he might call her name one night
while y 'all making love.
He's comparing whether he tells
you about it or not.
Now, the second reason I say
you can't win
is because of the wife herself.
Ain't no woman in her right mind gonna sit back and just let an other
woman come in and take her man if he's really worth having.
She might know something
we don't.
And she will find out.
That crap about the wife
is the last to know
is a bunch of happy horse manure.
She's the first to find out
Cuz you see when the stock
in her love market
Drops from a six -day
week to a one -day
Maybe she doesn't need Dow Jones
Mary Jones or any other Jones
to tell her it's time to straighten it out
So girls if you're gonna try do it, right?
And the job you do let it
be well done
When you put it on him
Cause I found out early in life
That you can't remove the
memory of the past
But keep on tryin', keep on doin'
Keep on tryin' girls
No, give up, oh
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey