The Horrible Movie Song

The Horrible Movie Song madadaling guitar chords ni The Four Postmen

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Gitara
Pag-tune

E A D G B E

Capo

Walang capo

Capo

I-transpose

0

Capo

  • D

  • G

  • Em

  • C

  • D

  • G

  • Em

  • C

    • Verse 1
    Oh, 
    who's 
    making 
    these horrible 
    movies 

    that they 
    show on 
    the big movie 
    screens? 

    They 
    chase and 
    they crash and 
    they dumb it 

    all up and 
    I sit and 
    I 
    watch 
    the 
    credits. 

    I 
    watch 
    to see who 
    played that 
    part 
    so 
    badly. 

    I 
    wonder 
    why 
    I 
    can't be 
    a movie star 
    too. 

    I 
    some
    times 
    audition for 

    a low -budget 
    equity 
    waiver
    . 

    I 
    just want 
    a chance 
    to 
    prove 

    that I can 
    suck 
    too. 

    Oh, 
    who's 
    making these 
    horrible 
    movies 
    that 

    they show on 
    the big movie 
    screens? 

    They 
    charge more 
    and more but 
    they give us 

    less and 
    I sit with 
    my 
    date and 
    I 
    suf
    fer. 

    Why 
    must 
    I 
    watch 

    Battlefield 

    Earth? 

    The 
    script was 
    writ
    ten in 
    crayon, 
    the 
    script was 
    written in 
    crayon, 

    the 
    script was 
    written 
    in crayon, 
    the 
    script was 
    written in 

    Hey there! 

    Interior, 
    movie studio, 

    big important 
    meeting with 
    big import
    ant people. 

    We just 
    optioned this 
    original 
    adaptation, 
    totally 
    in
    dependent, 

    big studio, 
    high concept, 
    low 
    budget art 
    house spec 
    script. 

    Brand 
    new, 
    been in development 

    for 25 
    years. 

    Working title 
    is 

    Kill 

    Me 

    Now. 

    I 
    just read 
    the first draft 
    treatment and 

    it's not very 
    good but we 
    can fix 
    it 
    in post. 

    It's 
    real 

    Gen 

    X 
    and noisy 
    with all 
    that 
    wacky 

    sur
    round sound 
    and 
    the 

    THX 

    Dolby. 

    And 
    I must say 
    I see sever
    al sequels 

    an
    d at 
    least one 
    or two prequels. 

    The 
    dope 
    sheet on this 
    baby got 
    it to green 

    light, all the 
    trades smell 
    of bidding 
    war. 

    Jump 
    cut to the 
    festivals, 
    okay? 

    Two 
    words, 
    cha 
    -ching! 

    Our best 
    boy 
    wrote 
    this script! 

    He's 
    a 20 -year 
    -old former key 
    grip, and 

    he used to work 
    on the castings 
    now, 

    so 
    he's got 
    ancil
    lary rights, 

    and he wants contingent 
    compensation 
    on the 
    back end. 

    Wink! 

    Picture this. 

    Extreme 
    close -up 
    of some famous 

    actor 
    ad 
    -libbing. 

    We shoot 
    a guerrilla, 

    handheld, 
    cinema 
    verite. 

    No 
    prot
    agonist, 
    no 
    antagonist, 

    no 
    character arcs, 

    no 
    plot, 
    no subplots, 
    no 

    B -story, 
    no 
    denouement! 

    Just avant 
    -garde 
    montages 
    of 
    a beautiful, 

    emaciated, 
    16 -year 
    -old supporting 
    cast. 

    We 
    fire off 
    a few squibs 
    in the 

    car chase 
    scenes. 

    Did somebody say 

    McDonald's, 
    okay? 

    We split the 
    merchandising 

    with a 
    fast food 
    joint 

    and 
    they pass 
    off our crappy 
    worthless 

    toys 
    for 99 
    cents 
    with each 
    combo. 

    Plus, 
    we 
    get to advert
    ise for 
    free on 
    the soda 

    cups, which 
    brings us 
    to the love 
    scene. 

    We 
    hire a great 
    pair of 

    boobs for the 
    body doubles, 

    stand 
    above on the 
    bed, 
    shoot at all 

    POV 
    and 

    OTS 
    and 
    stop -motion 
    steadicam. 

    When we 
    sell a foreign 
    distribution, 

    we can 
    dump everything 
    on a 

    D1, 

    dub 
    it in 

    German, 
    make it 

    Letterboxd 
    and 
    add subtitles 

    and 
    hock a 

    DVD 
    of the 
    frick
    in' director's 
    gun. 

    The cast 
    is 
    willing to work 
    for scale 

    because we 
    pitched 
    it 
    as an 

    Oscar contender 

    and most of 
    them are stupid, 

    desperate 
    has -beens 
    any
    way. 

    The 
    direct
    or's 
    willing to work 
    for deferred 
    compensation, 

    but I don't think 
    we need a 
    director on 
    this 
    one. 

    It 
    pretty much 
    directs 
    itself. 

    We'll just 
    send a 

    PA up 
    to 

    Canada 
    to shoot 
    the principal 

    photography 
    on 
    a 

    Sony 

    Digicam. 

    Oh, 
    I've 
    got an 
    idea for 
    a movie. 

    All 
    it needs 
    is 
    a bankable 
    cast. 

    It'll 
    open 
    up 

    Labor 

    Day weekend, 

    and 
    we'll sit and 
    cuckold on 
    the 
    glass. 

    We 
    can 
    save money 
    on sound, 
    too. 

    Make it a 
    silent film, 

    pretend 
    we did it 
    on purpose. 

    Who cares? 

    Let's go 
    black and 
    white. 

    Shoot the 
    fight 

    scenes in claymation. 

    It doesn't 
    matter. 

    We can 
    do post 
    -production in 
    a slave 

    labor camp 
    on 
    a video 
    toaster 
    in 

    Taiwan. 

    What the 
    hell? 

    Well, the 

    MPAA 
    wants 
    to give 
    us 
    an

    NC -17, 
    which is 
    the kiss 
    of frickin' 

    death. 

    They'll only give 
    us 
    the 

    R if 
    we cut 
    out 
    some of the 
    decapitations. 

    I say 
    we storyboard 
    the trailer. 

    Shoot it before 
    we make 
    the film. 

    See how it 
    plays in a 
    test market. 

    Make 
    it kind 
    of 

    MTV. 

    Think 

    Dawson's 

    Creek, 
    real young 
    and anamorph
    ic. 

    No 
    old people. 

    Slap 
    the clapstick. 

    Soft light 
    the depth 
    of field. 

    Put 
    some nose 
    grease on the diopter. 

    Sink 
    it. 

    Rack fo
    cus. 

    Splice the 
    iris. 

    Hire a 
    gaffer. 

    Orange 
    stick most 
    of the 

    MOS. 

    Sprocket 
    a blue 
    filter. 

    Tinker with 
    the f 
    -stop. 

    Rotoscope 
    the wet 
    gates. 

    Bootleg 
    a 
    word print. 

    And 
    most important, 

    kiss 
    the studio's 
    as
    s and hope 
    they like 
    it. 

    Go by the 
    bull legs, 
    load the mags, 
    pan and scan, 
    sweeten 
    the daily, 

    sandbag 
    the licensing, 
    and get 
    this baby 
    in the can! 

    We'll get 

    Elton 

    John 
    to barf 
    out the 
    soundtrack, 

    package 
    everything 
    pro
    rated, 
    and 
    most important, 

    KISS 

    THE 

    STUDIO'S 

    ASS 

    AN
    D 

    PRAY 

    THEY 

    LIKE 

    IT! 

    If it 
    sucks, 
    we cut 
    our throats, 

    call it 
    a life, and 
    it goes direct 
    to 
    video. 

    No 
    big deal! 

    Aw, 
    who's 
    mak
    ing these 
    horrible 
    movies 
    that 

    they show on 
    the 
    big movie 
    screens? 

    They 
    chase and 
    they 
    crash 
    and they 
    dumb it 

    all up, and 
    I sit and 
    I 
    watch 
    the 
    critics. 

    I 
    watch 
    this evil 
    play that 
    parts 
    so 
    badly. 

    I 
    wonder 
    why 
    it 
    can't be 
    a movie star 
    too. 

    I 
    some
    times audition 
    for 

    a low -budget 
    equity 
    waiver 

    I 
    just want 
    a chance 
    to 
    prove 

    that I can 
    suck 
    too 

    Oh, 
    who's 
    making these 
    horrible 
    movies 

    That 
    they 
    show in 
    the 
    big movie 
    screens? 

    They 
    should do us 
    a favor 

    and blow up 
    their brains 

    In the 
    back of 
    their 
    big lim
    ousines 

    In 
    the 
    back of 
    their 
    big lim
    ousines 

    In 
    the 
    back of 
    their 
    big limousines 

    Come on! 

    It's 
    a wrap! 

    We're not 
    done. 

    you 

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