Folks used to call me
good -lookin'
They'd point to my handsome red hair
But me and my red hair have parted
And now my poor head is bare
So to save my pride, as I now must confide
I replaced the hair that I'd shed
A substitute, that ain't got a root
The troubles I've had with
that red toupee
Red toupee, red toupee
A man's got to pay when he wears a toupee on his head,
especially red
While I took my new gal out courting
And everything went mighty fine
But when we got back to her doorstep
We reached the end of the line
As I bid her goodnight in
the mellow moonlight
The poor girl nearly dropped dead
I lifted my hat, but not only that
I also lifted my red toupee,
red toupee, red toupee.
A man's got to pay when he wears
a toupee on his head, especially red.
Well, I took a walk in the country
to be with the birds and the flowers,
And I became awfully weary,
and I dozed for a couple of hours.
But before I awoke,
nature played a cruel joke.
I felt a strange weight on my head.
Two bobble -links and a whipper -will
Had made their nest in my red toupee.
Red toupee, red toupee.
A man's got to pay when he wears a toupee on his head,
especially red.
Why that thing's so disgusting,
I use it for dusting,
and here's the advice I now spread.
Don't wear a toupee
or you'll sure have to pay
for that store -bought moss on your head,
like I've said, especially red.