The Want Ad

The Want Ad madadaling guitar chords ni Pandora's Box

N/A•
Gitara
Pag-tune

E A D G B E

Capo

Fret 1

Capo

I-transpose

0

Capo

  • Gm

    3

  • G

  • F

  • C

  • Em

  • Gm

    3

  • G

  • F

  • C

  • Em

    • Verse 1
    Gm

    This is addressed to all the people who answered
    G

    or may be thinking of answering
    Gm
    G

    The personal ad I placed in volume 2, number 15 of
    Gm

    this newspaper two weeks ago Friday
    G
    Gm
    F

    First: my apologies to the huge bartender with the voice and the light- hearted, dark- skinned advertising man.
    Verse 2
    G


    If either of you had called me back,
    C
    G
    C

    I might not be writing this retraction of my ad
    F
    G

    Even though I will soon be too busy to date much,
    Em

    but why didn't you call back?
    Gm
    G

    But to the others... which include the two terrifying
    Verse 3

    sisters


    The under 18's and the over 60's

    The numerous ones who dialed my number

    and hung up as soon as I said "hello"

    The 35 or 40 of you who

    made dates with me and never showed up.
    F

    Including the one who complained his body was
    G
    F

    so powerful he couldn't control it anymore
    C

    The desperate wife- seekers,
    F

    the already married

    The one who was so one- sided
    G

    that he could think of nothing but sex
    F

    And then have the gall to ask me if his nation
    C
    F
    G

    ality was the reason I wouldn't sleep with him
    F
    C
    Em

    The many who couldn't get it up when I was agreeable and the many
    G

    who could and did when I was not

    The pleasant young foreigner who turned out to be

    the private property of his gigantic girlfriend

    The ones who were so grot
    F

    esque in their appearance
    G

    That I couldn't possibly get past their faces to even consider

    a relationship with them, especially sexual

    The sharks, and the geeks,

    and the sadists, the latter category which I had specifically stated I didn't want

    And the ones who wanted endless dirty talk,
    Em

    the ones who wanted to be punished
    G

    The ones who could only boast about the size
    F

    of their bank- rolls and or their equipment

    G
    C

    And this definitely in cludes the teacher
    G
    F
    G

    who said: "All the kids want my stuff"
    F
    G

    The businessman who had an adjective for every letter of his last
    F

    name: "R is for rich"

    The ones, and there were many,
    G

    who said: "my name is so and so, and so how far do you go"

    The 300 pound lady
    F

    judge who screamed abuse at me

    The transvestite who wanted me to support

    him
    G

    The numerous young studs who had nothing to offer besides the
    F
    G

    negative results of their goddamn blood tests
    F

    The diminutive actor and the other

    short ones

    The astronomer who cried like a baby and said he'd been betrayed
    G

    by every star he ever knew
    F

    The fanatic priest who wanted me to confess to
    G
    F

    things I'd never even dreamed of
    G

    The worn out soldiers, the burned out

    poets, the pumped up jocks and the used up kids
    F

    The racists, including the one at whose place I left

    my white sweater

    And I'd rather cut off my right thumb than go

    back for it
    Gm
    F

    The drunks, junkies, crack and coke- heads,
    G

    the multitude of liars

    And especially the nice

    ones who never called back!
    Verse 4

    To all of you I say: Just forget

    my phone number
    Gm

    I don't need all the hassles
    Verse 5
    Gm

    I'll be starting school next month and I just

    don't want to be bothered
    G

    Don't hold your breath, any of you

    Sincerely,
    F

    The underweight platinum blonde
    G

    Have a nice day

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